*Note: I wrote this when I’d fallen pregnant with my first child, but as yet did not know it. With the knowledge in hindsight this is a perfectly natural experience, but at the time I was confused and unsure what was happening.
I don’t understand any of this
Feelings tearing around my body
Like cars on a race course
Emotions I have no reason for
Unexplainable sensations gush over me
Like a flood covers fields
Who do I talk to?
I can’t justify it for myself
How can I explain it to others
When I don’t know what it is?
Changing from one instant to the next
Even I don’t know what to expect
Lie to myself
To others as well
All to achieve what?
I ask you this
Let me in your world
So I may get a clearer picture of my own
None the wiser
No one to ask I suppose
Maybe with answers I’d know too much
Maybe I need a journey of discovery to find them
But what are the questions I ask?
They are not specific words and sentences
Thus making them not even a question
There is no answer if there is no question
Perhaps I’m wrong
I have found the answer to all
I’m only human