Spam and Ego

I have a new favourite spam comment.

“What a material of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable knowledge concerning unexpected emotions.”

Some of the spammers to my page who comment (and are captured in the spam queue) give the most incredibly ego-stroking compliments. If only something I wrote could score that kind of comment for real! I do read the spam comments, for a couple of reasons. Firstly to double check they are indeed spam, as my settings are high and I’ve had false positives before. Secondly just to see what kind of stuff is happening in that respect. Finally, after having this blog for a while now, to see the originality of the comments.

So this one is my new favourite. It screams ‘English is not my first language’ – and that has a certain sweetness to it. My BFF has another native language and this reminds me of when I google translate her writings to English. It reminds me of how waffling and silly she and I can become when we talk about it. It’s the kind of thing one of us would without doubt say to the other, at some stage.

I can 100% own that the ego boost of a spam comment is both shallow and entirely fictitious. It matters not other than when I read the praise and think, aww if only a real person said that about my blog, that’d be something else. My ego says oh that’d feel awesome.

Truth be told, in all likelihood I suspect a real reader making those comments would be just as fleeting. I’ve had some personally awesome comments over the time I’ve been here. They’re always ‘woo’ moments. They seem just as shallow on their own. And I’m not nearly ego driven enough to get any kind of legitimate motivation from them.

My ego is, I’d say 98%, fed from inside. My true ego, that is. I like the Freud-based model (there are similar but different ones by more up to date psycho-experts). Ego, Id and ig. It’s like the circles of self – inner, outer, extended, societal and so forth.

Inner circle/ig/true self – not fed by comments to my blog until they become meaningful discussion.

I want comments though. But I want them so I can hear the thoughts of another human, and the thoughts they have on my writing, topic, etc are secondary to the idea that someone shares themselves with me in a comment.

So there is absolute value in replying – Do it, please do! But it’s not in compliment = positive, criticism = negative. Comment = positive. Content = depth/potential for discussion.

Meanwhile, I’ll enjoy the sudden influx of spam comments I’m getting in the filter, and keep reading them, wishing they were real people, real comments, real sentiment.



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