Reblog: The Importance of Stupidity

Disguise

The Importance of Stupidity In Scientific Research

– Jane Cocks

 

true, this!

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What Your ADHD & ADD Kids (and adults) Are Really Thinking

Can I add – NOT just the kids. As an adult I can relate to this in regards to a number of people in my life. 

 

Do you ever think about what your kids must be thinking? We all tend to put words into their mouths – what we wish they were thinking. But the truth is, if we ever really listened to what they are trying to say with their eyes, or their body-language, or their one or two word answers, we might be surprised at how wise they really are.

Recently, I had a middle-of-the-night inspiration when I gained some clarity about what it must be like to live inside the brains of my children. I am sharing that insight with you here—an imagined letter from all of my kids, at every age and stage, all rolled into one voice. Go with me. I think you’ll find it useful.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I’m glad you helped me give a name to all the things that make me feel so different from other kids – ADD, or is it ADHD? I’m trying to understand it, but it seems a little strange. Isn’t this how everyone thinks?

Sometimes it feels so strange to be me. I know you get frustrated with me. I don’t blame you. So do I.

It would be nice, if you could try to remember that I’m not doing things on purpose just to make you crazy – at least, most of the time I’m not. :-) A lot of times, when you get annoyed with me, I think it might be because of my ADHD.

  • Like when my thoughts are racing and they go so fast I can’t seem to capture any of them. They’re there – I promise – but they fly away so quickly. I wish I could remember some of them. That way, when you ask what I think about something, I’d remember what I thought, and not just stare at you.
  • Or like when I put something down without noticing, so then I can’t find it when I want it.
  • Or when you send me to my room to get my socks and I get to my room and see something else and then I forget I was supposed to be getting socks.
  • Or when I forget what you taught me and I yell at my sister before I take 3 breaths.
  • Or when I act like I didn’t do anything wrong cause I feel so bad about it that I’m too embarrassed to admit it.
  • Or when I study for a test, and I think I really know it, and then I get into the test and my mind goes completely blank.
  • Or when I forget to turn in my homework (for three weeks!)
  • Or when I can’t help saying something that pops into my mind because it’s really funny, before I remember that it’s probably not a good time.
  • Or when I don’t stop talking.
  • Or when I forget to talk out loud and think that you can hear the thoughts in my head.
  • Or when I get an idea and I’m really excited and I can’t help from focusing on it, even though I’m supposed to be doing something else.
  • Or when I get really upset and I’m not even sure why, but something just really hurts or feels scary and I can’t explain it.

I know you know more about my ADHD than I do, but I just wanted you to know what it feels like from the inside. When you roll your eyes or make sarcastic comments, it hurts my feelings.

But I really like it when you make a joke and pretend its no big deal. THAT helps a lot. And when you tell me when I do something right, I can’t tell you how great that makes me feel.

Cause I hate messing up all the time. I feel bad enough already.

So, as I said, I know that I make you mad and frustrated sometimes.  Me, too. But I hope you know that I’m trying really hard. I really want to be good. But sometimes, I just don’t have as much control as you think I should – or as I wish I did. I’m getting better, though. At least I think I am. Anyway, sometimes I just want to know that you know I’m trying. Does that make sense?

Well, that’s all for now — my ADHD brain from the inside out.

I love you,

Your Loving Child

“This article originally appeared on ImpactADHD.com and is reproduced with permission.” 

Spam and Ego

I have a new favourite spam comment.

“What a material of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable knowledge concerning unexpected emotions.”

Some of the spammers to my page who comment (and are captured in the spam queue) give the most incredibly ego-stroking compliments. If only something I wrote could score that kind of comment for real! I do read the spam comments, for a couple of reasons. Firstly to double check they are indeed spam, as my settings are high and I’ve had false positives before. Secondly just to see what kind of stuff is happening in that respect. Finally, after having this blog for a while now, to see the originality of the comments.

So this one is my new favourite. It screams ‘English is not my first language’ – and that has a certain sweetness to it. My BFF has another native language and this reminds me of when I google translate her writings to English. It reminds me of how waffling and silly she and I can become when we talk about it. It’s the kind of thing one of us would without doubt say to the other, at some stage.

I can 100% own that the ego boost of a spam comment is both shallow and entirely fictitious. It matters not other than when I read the praise and think, aww if only a real person said that about my blog, that’d be something else. My ego says oh that’d feel awesome.

Truth be told, in all likelihood I suspect a real reader making those comments would be just as fleeting. I’ve had some personally awesome comments over the time I’ve been here. They’re always ‘woo’ moments. They seem just as shallow on their own. And I’m not nearly ego driven enough to get any kind of legitimate motivation from them.

My ego is, I’d say 98%, fed from inside. My true ego, that is. I like the Freud-based model (there are similar but different ones by more up to date psycho-experts). Ego, Id and ig. It’s like the circles of self – inner, outer, extended, societal and so forth.

Inner circle/ig/true self – not fed by comments to my blog until they become meaningful discussion.

I want comments though. But I want them so I can hear the thoughts of another human, and the thoughts they have on my writing, topic, etc are secondary to the idea that someone shares themselves with me in a comment.

So there is absolute value in replying – Do it, please do! But it’s not in compliment = positive, criticism = negative. Comment = positive. Content = depth/potential for discussion.

Meanwhile, I’ll enjoy the sudden influx of spam comments I’m getting in the filter, and keep reading them, wishing they were real people, real comments, real sentiment.